Pongal, which this year fell right in the middle of the week, allowed students who didn’t mind taking two days off (almost everyone), an extended vacation! As a result, many ended up with more number of days off than the usual semester break! While such holidays are very relaxing, it is indeed quite difficult to get back into the everyday college routine of classes. There have been numerous cases of homesickness, students falling asleep in class, reduced cognitive skills, and sluggishness among the students. In some severe instances, there have been reports of amnesia, where students are unable to remember where their classes are located or the course in which they are studying. For most students, assessments have been scheduled throughout this week, and performance is expected to drop as a direct consequence of this epidemic. If you do find anyone on campus struggling to remember things, do make sure they reach their classes or hostel rooms safely so as to avoid any mishaps or accidents. If you find yourself feeling dizzy or disoriented from classes or lectures, inform a nearby student immediately and eat pongal or sugar cane ASAP.

Not Actually News: Campus Satire Column consisting of 100% absurd and UNTRUE ramblings of a certain individual who doesn't like reading the paper.