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Selfie Fever

                While the Ebola epidemic has robbed the world of millions of lives and has been raging in South Africa, experts have recently uncovered a new disease-one that has the potential of making Ebola seem like the common cold. Yes, you guessed right. The selfie fever. The Guindy times brings you the latest medical recommendations to keep yourself safe.

Dr. Shell F.E says that the onset of selfie fever is marked by creating Instagram or snapchat accounts. Both men and women are equally under the risk of catching selfie fever. Recent reports have said that age is not a factor after an old woman was tested positive while taking a selfie with a TV during Sarvannan Meenakshi and updating her snapchat story. However, the most common target group is college students.

Common symptoms of selfie fever include insufficient phone memory, sudden demands for a dslr, and spending prolonged hours in front of the mirror. Selfie fever can be classified into mainly three classes. Class three selfie fever victims show very subtle symptoms of producing only an average of ten selfies per day while class one victims have no bars on the number of selfies. It is important to note that class one selfie addicts are harder to be diagnosed as they have been seen to post only few selfies online. Recent screening methods include checking not only the gallery, but also hidden folders as well as hard disks to unearth selfie collections. In the most extreme cases of class one selfie-itis, victim may resort to confining themselves to rooms with mirrors and apt lighting. Individuals may also be seen huddling in dark corners with their phones while constantly refreshing their facebook profiles.

The key to protecting yourself from selfie fever lies in a few simple steps. Selfie fever is a highly communicable disease, hence, avoid people who show active symptoms of selfie fever. Do not indulge in more than three selfies a week. Another sure fire method of being selfie fever safe is using a phone without a front camera (Extra points for one without a camera). Refrain from listening to any selfie related songs such as selfie pulla and the selfie song. Do not associate yourself with any kind of selfie term such as groupfie, petfie, butfie, etc.

The number of victims has substantially increased after kurukshetra and techofes due to the selfie contest as well as the techogram booth. Several protests were made by friends of victims, complaining of over flowing newsfeeds and incessantly being tagged in profile pictures. Measures are being taken to provide the people with compensation as well as to prevent future occurrences.

Reader, if you spot someone showing any or all of the above symptoms, it is important that you take the following steps not only for the victim, but for the good of the nation. First, slowly approach them by saying you want to take a selfie. After warming up to the victim, gently pry the phone from their hands as though you’re going to take the photo. And then, swiftly throw the phone as far and as fast as you can and flee from the scene. Staying with the victim may lead to several bodily damages and mild cases of trauma. We must all do whatever is possible to cure this epidemic, even if it means resorting to violence.

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