Last day of class, last day of studying, last exam, last trip, last juice in the canteen, last breath of air at God knows where. The finality of all these declarations makes the whole ordeal of graduation so morbid. I get it, college life is truly an amazing experience…for instance, Want to go for a movie? Let’s go. Feel like heading to the beach? We’re there. Have a food craving at the oddest of hours? Why not? Don’t feel like doing what you’re supposed to do? Don’t. It doesn’t matter anyway.
It’s near impossible to live like that again in our lives. These days were undoubtedly awesome, but was everything as rosy and perfect as we tend to remember it? Or are we simply suffering from an acute case of “Graduation Goggles”. Graduation goggles is nothing but the feeling that you are going to really miss something that you never really liked in the first place. College was awesome, but let’s face it. It wasn’t awesome all the time. 80 percent of the time college was rather annoying.
Getting the “No dues” form signed from every lab/dept office since starting in CEG is an interestingly nostalgic exercise and ironic to say the least. The last time we went to every corner of the campus like that was for orientation during our very first days here. I swore I wouldn’t let myself get drawn in to the clichéd sentiments of graduation, but after this long (and still unfinished) walk down memory lane, it’s with a heavy heart that I look over all our favorite haunts and hangouts over the years.
I’m looking at the Gallery, where we spent many monotonous nights of Agni and Techofes squinting at a distant stage, while swatting angry mosquitoes in the name of enthusiastic dancing. The canteen… nowhere in Chennai can those pocket friendly prices be beaten! I think of the many days we braved the afternoon crowds, longing for the infamous Sambhar rice which they deem fit to make only once a month, looking for Jhalebis only to find the orange colored Jangiri instead.
I watch my library account being deleted and I can’t help but feel this tinge of sadness as I realize that I’ll never be able to check out a book from the library again. (Ignoring the fact that I’ve been to the library exactly twice in my entire 4 years, and given another 4 years I doubt I’d come again) But that doesn’t stop me from wistfully looking at the overflowing shelves of books, thinking wow! Who knew our college had so many books to offer! Look at those Wi-Fi trees. On sunny days when the green benches are full, for impromptu meets and study sessions, to have lunch and try in vain to pick up nonexistent Wi-Fi signals around a table where the plugs don’t work…Oh the tears*
I look at SnH 111, and once more my mind flashes back to more memories. No more classes here, no more open calls or club meets in the evenings. What memorable times are associated with SnH111… Except wait…what? Really? Was I just feeling bad thinking of the many countless hours I’d slept in the most uncomfortable chairs and tables in the world, in the sweltering heat and darkness (there’s hardly any power there), the room which has the most fascinating location geographically speaking, making sure that no network could ever breach its walls? So the classes weren’t that great. The meets? Well, if you ignore the horde of mosquitoes that attack in the evenings, and the above mentioned lack of signal strength, being holed up with a bunch of friends who scribble the name of an event on the black board and incessantly fight over everything under the sun...Sounds amazing doesn’t it?
In a way, I guess it was...
Because, at the end of all things said and done, the above cynicism is simply my miserable attempt to come to terms with the horrifying prospect of turning into a slightly more responsible adult, to reminisce over the broken world speed records up the stairs of SnH at 8:31 am to classes I can’t even name, to try and remember all the many many worthless days spent simply talking under the shade of our campus trees, to wonder quietly when I’ll see the faces of the many people I’ve come to know and love once again, and to hold back “the feels” as I accept the knowledge that one of these days, I’m going to step out of those gates leading up to the familiar red building, which was the symbol of home for 4 years, and not step back in for a very long time……
(I never said I wasn't suffering from graduation goggles!)