“Happy Ugadi viewers! A new year brings new opportunities, let’s see what each zodiac sign has in store..”
And on and on the TV program continued. Grandpa and Grandma were at their devoted positions on the family sofa, religiously tuning in for the New Year specials. Giant green mangoes ripe for the picking, jackfruit dangling off the branches and neem flowers revealing their vibrant yellow in the garden was a treat to eyes.
Slowly the sun rose up in the sky, banishing the night’s darkness. The muted colors came alive as the light flooded them. A red orb began to ascend towards the top of the sky as muted blue light rained upon Aisha, seated on the garden porch.
Hair tousled and dress wrinkled, her appearance betrayed a burning heart within. Her phone constantly rang but she ignored it.
“I am not talking to them..” She muttered under her breath. Clasping her fists shut, she felt the rage coursing through her veins, as scorching as the afternoon sun. A sudden fluttering of wings startled her and she turned to the side. It was an one-eyed raven. Oddly it was not startled by her presence and nonchalantly rested near her.
“Hey, choo!” She waved her hand menacingly. “Is this how you treat a friend?”
She looked around, twisting her head in all probable directions to pinpoint the origin of the voice.
“Here, I am here. Why are you ignoring me?”
The voice was coming from the crow, but Aisha was too angry to be scared by this revelation.
“What’s the matter? Are you my relative?”
“No, I am the god of karma. Seems like your life has been going south recently and you don’t have anyone to help you. So I came to guide you.”
“Ah, I see. This is probably some dream or hallucination.” Aisha snapped her fingers, “Maybe it’s my subconscious trying to self-correct. But no use, go away! My life is a burning train headed straight to hell.”
“It’s not like that. We are in spring, the age of new beginnings, I came to guide you back on track, helping you to right your wrongs.”
“Really?” Aisha chuckled, “You think I can be redeemed?”
“Tell me, what did you do wrong?”
“Oh, the usual. Argued with my parents about taking sports over medicine, and behaved like a villain with all my friends. Then I flunked in boards. So here I am, hiding from the storm.”
“So that’s why your parents are calling you?”
“Don’t they get it? Doesn’t anyone get it? Just. Leave. Me. ALONE. You don’t need a trash like me, just dump me and move on.”
“Listen it’s nothing more than teenage hormones. You’ll figure it out with time.”
“So that’s what you are going to say as well, just like the others in my life. Can’t you update your ‘advice’ booklet with new buzzwords?” Aisha got up.
“I assume that deep down you are crying. Though you act all tough and evil, deep down aren’t you just a lost child?”
Lost child. Those words stopped Aisha dead in her tracks and quickly she returned back to the crow.
“Though you are so young, you feel so much pressure and pain.”
“I know right!” Aisha punched her fist up in vindication. “So much judgment, relatives who don't know me are deciding my life. Giving advice on how to handle a ‘problematic child’, when their children have run away from their bickering long ago. Look at me. Growing older but never wiser. What can I do? No one listens to me anymore and I don't have control on it. I'm neither training nor studying too.”
“Isn’t your body refusing to work?”
“Yes! It’s just stopped, too lazy to do anything. I just want to burn everyone down, make them feel my pain so that they can shut up.”
“The same fire that brings warmth also brings death. You can’t drink poison and expect the other person to die.”
Aisha dug her face into her hands
“It’s alright to feel so lost. It's okay to feel like everything is over.”
“I don’t think I can stare at anyone’s face anymore,” her eyes welled up with tears,” they are all mad at me.”
“For now you will feel like a trash. But as time passes, you can practice kindness and all the wounds will heal.”
“You are lying, there’s no coming back! My life is finished.”
“Aisha as an athlete, you know you are already 19. How many years are you going to keep whining like this? 10,20? That’s years of training gone. Years of medals and memories snuffed out. All for what? Whether you cry, pray, or fly, the time will pass anyway.”
Aisha became absolutely still.
“Look at the neem flower, it's life is full of bitterness of failure and the spice of pain. But it’s these flavors that make sweet moments and surprises more memorable. That’s exactly why the Ugadi pachadi has all these flavors, to remind people of the wisdom behind a neem flower.”
“Hmm, but even then. How can I repent for my sins?”
“Ask for forgiveness. Ask for it even though people don't forgive. Approach everything with kindness and patience. Take step by step at a time and soon enough the wounds will heal and life will become good again.”
“And if it doesn’t?”
“It will Aisha, it will. Perhaps it could be non-linear and take more time, but healing will occur.”
“So you are saying, that there is hope?”
“Indeed.”
“Thank you.” Tears flowed down Aisha’s eyes. “I needed that.”
“Go on now and fly. A new life awaits! I believe your grandparents must be calling you..”
“Aisha! Where are you kanna?”
Aisha got up.
“Bye, it was really nice talking to you.”
“Goodbye Aisha, we shall meet again one day.”
The crow flew away into the distance as Aisha ran into the kitchen.
As the smells of a Ugadi feast snaked their way through the garden, the flowers of Aisha’s mental garden finally bloomed to life. “Everything will be alright”, Aisha reminded herself as she sneaked into the kitchen for a delicious treat waiting for her.
